Bella!!!

So, after my post last night, I was waiting around for Drew to get here, and I get a message on facebook from my best friend/wifey Bella, who I have not talked to in over a month. I tell her I don’t quite understand why she blocked me, and stopped talking to me, and she tells me to call her. So I do. She explains to me what went on, and she was pretty much losing her mind at this point. 

I broke the news to her that I got pregnant with Drew, and she was like OMG you what? REALLY? No, you can’t fly. April, you can’t fly, your pregnant! The baby you spent thousands of dollars on wanting, is now in your stomach, and you didn’t have to spend a penny. He must have had strong swimmers. I was laughing, and I was telling her that I am really happy. Things were going good, and it felt amazing to have my best friend back in my life. 

This woman is the woman I’ve shared EVERYTHING with for the last two years. EVERYTHING. She was with me for Alex, for Chuck, and now Drew, and she has been with me through EVERYTHING. I remember how badly she wanted Noah, and when she got him how excited I was. I love her with all my heart and soul and so I finally felt complete and happy when she came back in my life. But anyway, I digress…

So I was waiting for Drew to get here last night, and oh my, last night was amazing. We had sex so many times, we lost count. I think I lost count at five times. We didn’t even get to watch a Dr. Who marathon like we wanted, because we were both so relaxed, and such after, that we fell asleep in each other’s arms. 

I hate to say this, but I REALLY feel like Drew still has feelings for me. Why else would he look at me the way he does? I can see it in his eyes. Just as I am a terrible liar, so is he. I know the whole friends with benefits thing was supposed to separate those feelings, but I am still very much so emotionally attached and connected to him. I guess the FWB was a way for me to still have those feelings with him, I am unsure, I try not to think about it, as it hurts sometimes, knowing he will never be with me, but I feel like he is confused in his own feelings too. I feel like he wants to be with me, but has family pressures, and so he wants to be alone. Then again, this could totally be pregnant hormones talking. 

Today, when Drew and I were showering together, he told me I looked really happy, was glowing, and looked beautiful. I told him thank you, it is because I am really happy… and I am. It felt nice to hear though… We had sex something like two or three more times. I have to wonder in my subconscious if all this sex is doing any damage… I don’t ever remember being this in the mood with Gabby… then again, I didn’t know I was pregnant with her until she was around 12 weeks… but anyway, I digress…

So today, I went to go get my drug test done, for work, and cleaned my house. That was pretty much it. Drew and I slept until 12pm, got up, I did work scans, and then went to my drug test, then we went on a date to Wendy’s like we always do, and then he came back and grabbed his stuff and left. It was a pretty decent day. I think the most memorable time was when we were in the car, on the way to my drug test at Quest, and he had the song Ram Jam stuck in his head, and he was singing it. Ohhhh, does he have an amazing singing voice. Well, than he said “Black Betty is Contagious” and I laughed and said “That sounds like a terrible disease to get” and we both laughed. Hours later, I still am laughing and have that song stuck in my head.

I hope tomorrow’s beta has doubled… but we shall see…