A Letter To My TWO year old


Dear Lucius (Or Lucky, Or Louie, Or Luca, Or Luke, Or Loose, Or Lucy, Or Bubba, Or Sweet Boy 😉 )

Today, as we celebrate you turning two years old, I find myself super emotional, and just wanting to celebrate you.

Let me explain: Lately I’ve been reflecting on the fascinating way my love for you has shifted over time. When you were first born—in those initial first weeks of helplessness and those speedy first months of development—my love for you was incredibly instinctual. It was a powerful maternal connection.  

I loved you because you were my baby. Or, more accurately, because you were my baby. AND YOU STILL ARE.

But… Now you’re two, and it’s occurred to me that my love for you goes far beyond your connection to me. I love you so much sometimes it makes me cry (but for good reasons of course)

I realize it when you talk about your shapes, colors, and numbers. I realize it when you reach for excitement for me when I pick you up at daycare. Or when you say “spin” and reach your arms out to be spun around and laugh joyfully before saying “more” I realize it as your eyes light up with excitement when we try new things. Or when you swing on the swing for the first time like a big boy. I realize it when you run and give me a kiss and hug, and I never want to let you go. I realize it when you throw a ball, and then chase after it eagerly, to throw it to me again. Or when you ride on your Tonka truck outside, chasing your big sister and the other kids. I realize it when you finish your bowl of my spaghetti, and you exclaim “all done” and I want to kiss you and tell you “good job!”
There are so many more examples I could give because you are such a smart, unique, special, little boy.

And at two years old, you are separate from me. You are your own unique individual, and—here’s the kicker—you’re awesome.  

You have turned into this amazing little boy. You love everyone, and everything, and you are fearless. You love to climb. I hope that never changes for you. I hope you try everything you ever wanted to do. You are one of the happiest little boys I’ve ever seen. Always smiling. Always loving. This is a fond reminder, that I must be doing something right.

As you’ve grown more independent and your personality has emerged stronger and stronger, I find myself marveling at how incredible of a person you are. Even though I am tired, and have some rough days, I know that I’d still want to play hide-and-seek with you, sing and dance, and just hang out with you! 

My love for you today is based strongly on who you are as your own person—rather than on the simple fact that you’re my son. And trust me when I say this. I love you to the moon, stars and back again. You’re such an amazing little boy.

The coolest part about that phenomenon? The realization that it’s only going to keep growing.

As you continue to grow and develop, so will the way I love you. As your likes and dislikes become more different—as you face successes, challenges, and disappointments in life—my heart will expand to new places, too.

And then one day I will wake up and you will be an adult, one that I hope to love not only as a son, but also as a friend. I hope that you are forever a mommy’s boy, and that never changes. 

I hope you grow in the Lord and do amazing things. I hope you do good things in your life. I hope you continue to grow up to be this amazing person. I hope you become the gentleman that doesn’t break a girl’s heart. I hope you go far. I hope you realize how much I needed you when you came into this world, because son, you brought so much light back into my life, and even my eyes show it.
So, I guess my message to you on your second birthday is simply this: You are awesome. Your boundless energy, your sweet demeanor, your creative spirit—it all comes together to make you a truly remarkable little human being.  

I feel privileged to be your mama. From a parent’s perspective, it doesn’t get any cooler than that.

As you journey into the next year—which I’m sure will be the tremendous twos, with some terrible thrown in for good measure—I’m filled with anticipation to watch you become more and more uniquely you. My heart will be right there, growing alongside you, my love spreading to cover every new inch of you.

I love you, my awesome son.
Happy Birthday.
Love your Mom.

TWO




Today, you are TWO.

As I look back at photos preparing for your second birthday party, I get a bit teary eyed.



Wasn't it just yesterday I was praying for two pink lines as I dealt with heartbreak and infertility treatments month after month?
Wasn't it just yesterday that I had given up.
Wasn't it just yesterday I went through foster to adopt to have a child of my own.
And just yesterday I found out I was pregnant and was in disbelief and shock?
Wasn't it just yesterday that Nicole was photographing your gender reveal and entrance into this world?



Wasnt it just yesterday Vivi was giving me advice?
Wasnt it just yesterday as I gave birth to you 100% natural and determined to do so, that I sobbed as you were placed on my chest and cried for the first time?
Wasn't it just yesterday that Bobbi was photographing your 1/2 birthday and 1st birthday photo smash?


 

Wasn't it just yesterday you got baptized? Met Mama Carolyn for the first time.
Wasn't it just yesterday I was holding you in my arms as you cried. Rocking you back and forth.
















Wasn't it just yesterday you got your first nightmare or wanted me to kiss your booboos and make it better?
Wasnt it yesterday you took your first steps? Called to me 'Mama'?
I swear. I blinked and now you're two.
And I can't believe this is happening.
Slow down, time.





I am so incredibly happy and blessed to be your mom.
Gabby is so incredibly blessed to be your sister and she loves and adores you so stinking much.




Your godmother Felicia loves you so much.
Your Aunty Vanessa and Tiffany love you too.
You have some amazing little cousins to grow up with.
You have some amazing grandparents and great grandparents.
You have an amazing family that loves you.


My little man... You're not so little anymore...
You have brought light back into my eyes and given me hope again. You made me believe in miracles and myself. You make me smile when I am feeling down and make me want to be a better mom and person.



I am so happy you're a mommy's boy. I hope that never changes. I am so incredibly proud of the little man you have become. I looked forward to everything you accomplish in the coming year, my love.

Happy TWO!
I will see you tonight at 5 and we will celebrate tomorrow with Dinner and Sunday with your party.
Mommy loves you.
So.
Stinking.
Incredibly.
Much.
❤️😭
 



22Q Results....

I am NOT a carrier of 22Q.
This means that Gabby's 22Q/DiGeorges is likely a De Novo result.



In asking the Genetecist what this result means and what this means for Gabby, they said the following:

"What we currently don't know is whether the deletion is something Gabby's father was born with which she inherited from him, or if the deletion is the result of a brand new genetic change (not found in all of the cells of either parent) that was present only in the egg or the sperm at the time of her conception. Either way, this is not the type of genetic change that could be caused by medication use and is something that Gabby was born with. It is either a brand new change in Gabby, or something she inherited from her father"

So, Gabby's genetic condition is likely the result of what is called "De Novo" which means it is something that just happens.