IUD Removal & Whats Next?

This is all the supplies fo

Removal:

Honestly, that was not that bad.

It was quick and easy.

I cramped a little bit, but it was nothing I was not used to.

I was very surprised with how small these devices really are.

Whats Next?

This is how small a Mirena IUD is.

Well, since we already stopped the Arava, and Methotrexate 3 months ago, and I have already completed a preconception appointment with Dr. Perni to come up with a plan for pregnancy, we have a general idea what the next steps are for us.

We have a Fertility Appt on January 3rd 2020, with Dr. Nash at Reproductive Gynecology and Infertility in Akron, and he will be requesting that Andrew get a Sperm Analysis, and likely will want me to get an HSG, but after that, I forsee him RXing me Femara and Gonal-F, since this is what worked with my son. We need to discuss with him the possibility of conceiving naturally with Gonal-F and Femara, or if we should realistically consider IVF. We will also need to talk to him about PIGD (pre implantation genetic diagnosis) which is something our MFM agrees we should get, and she also agrees that when we are pregnant we should get MaterniT21, and an Amniocentesis.

The current plan is:

Follow Dr. Nash' recommendation. He will transfer care to Dr. Perni at 13 weeks. As far as meds go:

Progesterone in Oil until 13 weeks

Cortef, Florinef and Prednisone for management of my Addisons.

Synthroid for management of my Hashimotos.

Metformin 1000mg X2 for my Type 2 Diabetes

Lovonox 40mg X2 Daily, to prevent complications with Factor V Leiden and my history of DVT/PE

Makena Injection at 18 weeks to prevent pre-term labor.

Novolog 70/30 and Lantus during pregnancy since Bydureon is not safe.

Ixinity 1500 IU for delivery to prevent hemmoraging, and taken for 6 weeks postpartum with Lovonox.

Endocrinology wants to see me in March. Rheumatology in April. Pain Management as needed. Neurology in February. Hematology has been seeing me monthly, so once I am pregnant we will plan what to do with Dr. Escuro and Dr. Samaras.

Endocrinology has recommended I start on DHEA  which also studies show help improve pregnancy loss risk. I have severely low DHEA levels due to my addisons, and low DHEA causes a whole boat load of problems.

Dr Perni wants to Plan to induce, and do biophysical profiles, fetal echo cardiology, amnio and MaterniT21. She also wants Andrew to get Genetic Carrier Testing done to ensure that he does not carry anything in his family history that he is not aware of.

As far as our plan?

We're going to just try, and have fun. Not try, not prevent. But have tons of fun.

I am using many methods. I have OPKs, Pregnancy Tests, Proov to check for progesterone level, I am using OvuSense to try to detect my BBT more reliably, and also try to see if I ovulate, and we are also charting. We are going to be using Fertility Tea, and Pre-Seed as well, so that we can have more fun "exploring" one another, and enjoying our intimacy.

We're hoping and praying that it happens in 2020, and that it will be without heartbreak, or loss.

 

Today's the Day....

Today's The Big Day.

Thurs Dec 19th 2019.

I'm getting my IUD removed today... for a few reasons actually...

The first is that this IUD expires in March 2020, and we don't want to pay $400 to get it taken out, when we have our deductible met now.

The second is because I still get 25 day cycles of bleeding on it, so its not doing anything for my periods or pain management.

The third is so that Andrew and I can start trying for a family of our own.
 
 

After seeing him last night with my best friends 2 month old, my heart melted into a big puddle of an emotional mess. 

He was like 'I want to hold the baby' as she fell asleep on him and we were like awwww and I proceeded to melt. He does these adorable little things and every time I'm like Awww. 

There's something about the man you love raising children that just makes your heart so overjoyed it melts. Seeing him as a dad with my two kids, and others Little's makes me fall harder for him every time. He's raising my two kids together with me, and co-parenting with their dads and he's just so perfect for me and us.

My heart is overjoyed and can't wait. I know the last time I went through this process it was a lot of heartbreak and alot of pain and a very long five years. So I'm nervous. But I'm feeling okay with this. I'm feeling okay because we have a plan and know what to expect as well as we possibly can. We did all the Preconception stuff before this appointment and so I feel like we have a good feel for this. 

When I reminded Andrew that today was the day, he replied with 'I know. It just means that we can start trying and have more fun with it all' and he laughed. 

I seriously love this man. He's so.... Perfect for me. He's perfect with Lucius and Gabby. I just adore him.

I'll update after my appointment with how things went.

Pre-Conception Consultation

Today, Andrew and I had our pre-conception consultation with my MFM, Doctor Perni, to discuss the likelihood and recommendations for future pregnancy. I was very impressed with the appointment, and the support that Dr. Raymond, Dr. Perni, Dr. Nash and all my specialists are having, is phenomenal.

Here were her reccomendations

I am feeling excited, and nervous to start this experience again. I am concerned about the trauma and past pregnancies and that it may make things difficult, but I am trying to not think about it. Andrew says he is definately all in with this, plans to marry me, spend forever with me, but that due to my past history of trauma and abuse in relationships, he has an uphill battle. He reminds me that were in this together, and he loves me.

I was started on a pre-natal, called NeevoDHA today, and will take it every day and throughout pregnancy.

I am praying that 2020 brings us no heartbreak. I am secretly praying that God hear my prayer, and grant me twins. A little boy and little girl. Gabby wants a baby sister. Andrew wants a girl for daddy's little girl. I personally love boys, and raising Lucius has been so easy. That way, I can be done having children for good, and get my total hysterectomy from Dr. Sinervo at the CEC, as I have always wanted 4 kids. We shall see what God has in store for us.

Andrew & I -- Summer Photo Shoot

I just wanted to share a few photos from the lovely Bobbi Frohman that she took of my boyfriend and I at the beach. I love and adore this man. He is so supportive, and he is incredibly patient and loving. He is everything I have ever wanted in a man.

A Letter To My TWO year old

Dear Lucius (Or Lucky, Or Louie, Or Luca, Or Luke, Or Loose, Or Lucy, Or Bubba, Or Sweet Boy 😉 )

Today, as we celebrate you turning two years old, I find myself super emotional, and just wanting to celebrate you.

Let me explain: Lately I’ve been reflecting on the fascinating way my love for you has shifted over time. When you were first born—in those initial first weeks of helplessness and those speedy first months of development—my love for you was incredibly instinctual. It was a powerful maternal connection.  

I loved you because you were my baby. Or, more accurately, because you were my baby. AND YOU STILL ARE.

But… Now you’re two, and it’s occurred to me that my love for you goes far beyond your connection to me. I love you so much sometimes it makes me cry (but for good reasons of course)

I realize it when you talk about your shapes, colors, and numbers. I realize it when you reach for excitement for me when I pick you up at daycare. Or when you say “spin” and reach your arms out to be spun around and laugh joyfully before saying “more” I realize it as your eyes light up with excitement when we try new things. Or when you swing on the swing for the first time like a big boy. I realize it when you run and give me a kiss and hug, and I never want to let you go. I realize it when you throw a ball, and then chase after it eagerly, to throw it to me again. Or when you ride on your Tonka truck outside, chasing your big sister and the other kids. I realize it when you finish your bowl of my spaghetti, and you exclaim “all done” and I want to kiss you and tell you “good job!”

There are so many more examples I could give because you are such a smart, unique, special, little boy.

And at two years old, you are separate from me. You are your own unique individual, and—here’s the kicker—you’re awesome.  

You have turned into this amazing little boy. You love everyone, and everything, and you are fearless. You love to climb. I hope that never changes for you. I hope you try everything you ever wanted to do. You are one of the happiest little boys I’ve ever seen. Always smiling. Always loving. This is a fond reminder, that I must be doing something right.

As you’ve grown more independent and your personality has emerged stronger and stronger, I find myself marveling at how incredible of a person you are. Even though I am tired, and have some rough days, I know that I’d still want to play hide-and-seek with you, sing and dance, and just hang out with you! 

My love for you today is based strongly on who you are as your own person—rather than on the simple fact that you’re my son. And trust me when I say this. I love you to the moon, stars and back again. You’re such an amazing little boy.

The coolest part about that phenomenon? The realization that it’s only going to keep growing.

As you continue to grow and develop, so will the way I love you. As your likes and dislikes become more different—as you face successes, challenges, and disappointments in life—my heart will expand to new places, too.

And then one day I will wake up and you will be an adult, one that I hope to love not only as a son, but also as a friend. I hope that you are forever a mommy’s boy, and that never changes. 

I hope you grow in the Lord and do amazing things. I hope you do good things in your life. I hope you continue to grow up to be this amazing person. I hope you become the gentleman that doesn’t break a girl’s heart. I hope you go far. I hope you realize how much I needed you when you came into this world, because son, you brought so much light back into my life, and even my eyes show it.

So, I guess my message to you on your second birthday is simply this: You are awesome. Your boundless energy, your sweet demeanor, your creative spirit—it all comes together to make you a truly remarkable little human being.  

I feel privileged to be your mama. From a parent’s perspective, it doesn’t get any cooler than that.

As you journey into the next year—which I’m sure will be the tremendous twos, with some terrible thrown in for good measure—I’m filled with anticipation to watch you become more and more uniquely you. My heart will be right there, growing alongside you, my love spreading to cover every new inch of you.

I love you, my awesome son.

Happy Birthday.

Love your Mom.

TWO

Today, you are TWO.

As I look back at photos preparing for your second birthday party, I get a bit teary eyed.

Wasn't it just yesterday I was praying for two pink lines as I dealt with heartbreak and infertility treatments month after month?
Wasn't it just yesterday that I had given up.
Wasn't it just yesterday I went through foster to adopt to have a child of my own.
And just yesterday I found out I was pregnant and was in disbelief and shock?

Wasn't it just yesterday that Nicole was photographing your gender reveal and entrance into this world?



Wasnt it just yesterday Vivi was giving me advice?
Wasnt it just yesterday as I gave birth to you 100% natural and determined to do so, that I sobbed as you were placed on my chest and cried for the first time?
Wasn't it just yesterday that Bobbi was photographing your 1/2 birthday and 1st birthday photo smash?


 

Wasn't it just yesterday you got baptized? Met Mama Carolyn for the first time.
Wasn't it just yesterday I was holding you in my arms as you cried. Rocking you back and forth.
















Wasn't it just yesterday you got your first nightmare or wanted me to kiss your booboos and make it better?
Wasnt it yesterday you took your first steps? Called to me 'Mama'?
I swear. I blinked and now you're two.
And I can't believe this is happening.
Slow down, time.

I am so incredibly happy and blessed to be your mom.
Gabby is so incredibly blessed to be your sister and she loves and adores you so stinking much.




Your godmother Felicia loves you so much.
Your Aunty Vanessa and Tiffany love you too.
You have some amazing little cousins to grow up with.
You have some amazing grandparents and great grandparents.
You have an amazing family that loves you.


My little man... You're not so little anymore...
You have brought light back into my eyes and given me hope again. You made me believe in miracles and myself. You make me smile when I am feeling down and make me want to be a better mom and person.



I am so happy you're a mommy's boy. I hope that never changes. I am so incredibly proud of the little man you have become. I looked forward to everything you accomplish in the coming year, my love.

Happy TWO!
I will see you tonight at 5 and we will celebrate tomorrow with Dinner and Sunday with your party.
Mommy loves you.
So.
Stinking.
Incredibly.
Much.
❤️😭
 

22Q Results....

I am NOT a carrier of 22Q.
This means that Gabby's 22Q/DiGeorges is likely a De Novo result.

 

In asking the Genetecist what this result means and what this means for Gabby, they said the following:

"What we currently don't know is whether the deletion is something Gabby's father was born with which she inherited from him, or if the deletion is the result of a brand new genetic change (not found in all of the cells of either parent) that was present only in the egg or the sperm at the time of her conception. Either way, this is not the type of genetic change that could be caused by medication use and is something that Gabby was born with. It is either a brand new change in Gabby, or something she inherited from her father"

So, Gabby's genetic condition is likely the result of what is called "De Novo" which means it is something that just happens.

A Boyfriend? :) (No Not an April Fools Joke!)

So, remember last time, I wrote, I was explaining I was going to give up? Well, I guess someone had other plans, because I met a guy 😉 This all actually happened a day after my last update.

His name is Andrew. Which is ironic because when I would pray about God giving me a good man, I would constantly hear Andrew. I would think the reason why I was hearing that was because John’s brother is named Andrew, and when I pray, I usually think of Carolyn. But… I guess this is why I kept hearing Andrew. At least, I hope.

Anyway, he is 28, and has a good job. He works as a machinist. He is really good with my kids. His birthday is my mom’s birthday, August 12^th. And He treats me really good. 

So, here is the story:

On March 7th, 2019, I started talking to guy on OKCupid (or as we joke and call it, OK Stupid) and after nearly two days of hoping the app sent the other person our message, we decided to talk on Discord because, what gamer doesn't have discord ;)

 

We talked essentially nonstop for several hours over the next few days at which point, I informed him that I was going to be AFKish because of the Hemophilia B Symposium in Florida and scored his digits  at which point, we talked pretty much nonstop until I returned home. 

He would respond with silly things like "Potassium" for "k" and I would get his jokes and sense of humor and laugh. After much talking and laughter, on March 22, we shared our first date. 

We went to Max & Irma’s and then to see a movie. We saw Captain Marvel. Everything went wonderfully, despite how incredibly nervous I was, and I'll admit, I was a tad nervous to have him meet my kids, but everything else has worked out and is pretty much history. 

I love this adorable, handsome, nerdy, patient guy who just gets me. He can look at me, and just make me laugh. I'm happier than I have ever been, and I'm super-duper happy that I took another shot at OKC before giving up entirely, after having been single for 2 years. 

It was worth it, this taking a chance thing. And I'm honestly looking forward to many more months (and years hopefully) with this guy. Because he makes me that happy.

I mean, what other guy is going to sit, and watch “girly shows” over ice cream with me or wipe my tears when I cry.

As for being an SMBC, the option is still there. I feel it will always be there, but Andrew and I discussed kids, and we discussed I don’t want more than 4 kids, and it wasn’t responsible to have children this early in the relationship, and that I’d like to make it to a year and surpass living together and such before that happens.

We’re talking tentatively for August for him moving in, and so we shall see where life goes, but I DO still want 1 or 2 more kids. And I want it before I am 35.

So… goals

-         Graduate college with my Bachelor of Science in Information Technology with emphasis in security and forensics

-         Graduate from Lakeland with my IT Professional Cert

-         Graduate from Nextgen IT with my Full Stack Network Engineer Cert

-         Get my license!

-         Go back to work for Apple (I am currently on leave because I am focusing on the court, kids health, and all that nonsense)

But, I love this man right here, and he is worth it.