These Unexpected Miracles Of Life

My Sweet Boy…

I cannot believe you are SIX MONTHS OLD today. Where has time gone?

These first six months of life with you have been magical, and you are everything I ever dreamed of. Not only have you changed from a tiny little newborn into someone with a little personality and flirt, but you’ve also grew a ton!

Times have not always been the easiest around here. Your father and I have separated and even though we remain civil and are trying to form a friendship, things have been rough.

Mommy has been working on herself and trying to get her mental health into check, and while she is working on herself, she is enjoying watching you grow and develop into this amazing little boy.

Six months ago, you were this tiny little person pretty oblivious to the world around you, but now you notice when we eat, and you notice when you’ve lost a toy that you want.

Six months ago, you cried, and slept a lot. Now you laugh, and giggle, and you are awake and getting into everything and exploring the world around you.

Six months ago, you couldn’t smile, but now your smile lights up my life.

Six months ago, we co-slept together in bed, but now you sleep in your own room in a pack and play and sleep through the night.

Six months ago, we had no idea you needed a special formula to thrive, and now you are growing so much the doctors laugh.

Here soon, you will be crawling, and then up-up and away, you will be walking.

Mommy is having a hard time fathoming that you are SIX MONTHS OLD!

As I sit here and think about how much life has changed, I wanted to share all things going through my mind with you. I'll try to get through it all, and I promise to try to not cry.

You've been in my life for 6 months. How has it been that long already?? Wasn’t it just yesterday that I was crying because I had just given birth to you naturally?

Life with you is great. Here are the things I love about life with you.

It's louder. Remember when I said you cry at night and fight sleep? That's one of my favorite times of the night. You are such a good sleeper and always have been a wonderful sleeper, sleeping through the night since you were born. And sometimes there are nights where I'm so tired that I'm saying, "Lucius, honey, please go to sleep." And then you do. Right in my arms. And I slowing stop walking. Slowly stop bouncing and sshing. And I just stare. I know you won't always fit in my arms, nor will you always want to be there. So, for now, I hold you a little longer, and sometimes I wait till my arms are asleep before I put you down. I look at you, and then I close my eyes and try to sear how it feels into my mind because one day, not too long from now, this part of my life will all be memories, too.

It's also louder because you squeal and giggle. A LOT. And I LOVE IT. Seriously, one of my favorite sounds in the world. I would take that squeal over silence any day. And you giggle. You are the happiest baby. You smile and my whole world lights up. And in case you haven't caught on, you are my whole world.

The "me" time is now "you" time. And I wouldn't trade it for the world. The extra money goes to your needs, mostly diapers, formula...and it goes to clothes and books and toys...but they are all for you. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I love shopping for you.

Now I spend my mornings sipping coffee between fighting the bottle and staring at your precious face. I wonder what kind of man you'll grown into. I wonder what kind of kid you'll be...will you want to play with dirt all day? Will you be a reader? Will you be a jock? Will you be a Football Player aspiring to be a Carolina Panther someday? Will you enjoy metal music like your dad and I do? Will you be into reading, writing, and poetry? Will music be the passion of your life? Will you enjoy computers as much as your dad and I do? A little of all of these? Sometimes I just try to remember exactly what you look like in that moment because your looks change so fast and I want to remember it all.

Here's the thing that I can tell you about has changed the most since you came into my life 6 months ago...there is more joy than I could have ever imagined.

More love than I knew my heart could hold. And if the only thing I am ever known for is being Gabby and Lucius’ Mom, then my life will be the most full it could ever be.

So, I fibbed about the not crying thing...I'm a crier. You'll learn that. I cry when I'm happy, when I'm sad, when I'm mad, when I'm too excited. Just get used it. And right now, I'm wiping tears off my face in my room, counting down the minutes till I get to see my favorite thing. YOU.