STRESS and Yet Another Annov Cycle it Seems...

Well, tomorrow marks CD23, and still no positive OPK. I am feeling a little down though lately, because things have gotten rough around here, financial  and employment wise, and stress-wise.

Stress from finances, and bills as well as additional stress from work (I was out of work 1 week due to tech issues and they kept escalating me to the highest tier of tech support, making me feel like I am dumb and know nothing, and then finally sent me an AIB work PC which would have solved a lot of problems months ago)

Stress from dealing with child custody nonsense (I now have to go to the courts tomorrow and proceed with my child support case and parenting plan, as Gabriella's father wants to try to take her from me, calling me an unfit mother, but yet I have raised her for 3 years myself, with no problem and he hasn't bothered with her in two years, and with that, I have to find a lawyer because this is inter-state nonsense, and its over potty training... really... potty training differences are the reason that her father is using as an excuse not to pay child support anymore)

Stress from Alex loosing one of his jobs (Alpine let him go because they claim he violated company policy by going to the ER on a black out day, when he tested positive for the flu, and the ER told him to stay out of work for a week) just stress all around.

It is making me feel like the combination of stress AND the combination of starting my new diet may be the reason I still am not getting my positive.

FF lists me as "possibly fertile" but I don't see any signs of that. I'm thinking of taking a break for a little bit again on the TTC train to try to get finances in order and be able to deal with grief and other health issues properly.

Tomorrow I meet with my therapist, and plan to talk through all these issues. On Tuesday, I have an appointment with my Endocrinologist, and than on Thursday with my Hematologist-Oncologist. I've been trying acupuncture to deal with my stress, trauma, and health issues, and I must say it has been helping me relax a lot more. There is an amazing clinic around here that lets you pay $5 a visit, which is nice.

I've had consults with MTHFR Support staff members about my MTHFR and my Genetic Conditions, and it looks like my methylation, detoxification, autoimmune and clotting issues make this for a very complex case.

I have been e-mailing back and forth between the team at MTHFR Support, and Dr Jess and Dr Tim agree that my case is a very complex case that needs work with specialists. I am hoping that when I get my tax return back in a few weeks, I will be able to get my consult with Dr. Tim because there are sadly no specialists in the area who specialize in this stuff.

I see my ARNP at the mental health center on the 15th, and it is a new nurse this time, as my old one left, and so I plan to talk to her about the MTHFR and the whole "lack of serotonin and other chemicals like dopa-mine  due to my MTHFR. Maybe she might be intrigued to learn more. I also hope that I can get some sort of medication to help me deal with this grief nonsense and feel better. My anxiety has been REALLY bad lately. I'm talking panic attacks about the smallest of stuff.

I do see my PCP on the 17th at 1pm, and hope to discuss all this stuff with her, especially where the Reproductive Endocrinologist I saw just passed this stuff off as nothing to worry about, but she did say she was going to set a long list of tests to be ordered, and I'd expect my PCP to order the HSG. Jess has always been really good with me though, because anytime I have concerns, I talk to her about them, and she listens, looks over the information I provided her with, and then gives an honest opinion. I have a long list of stuff to talk to her about, and I am hoping that she can help with all of them...

Alex and I also have to set up another relationship counseling session with our therapist and talk through the whole grief and loss thing there. We also need to talk about everything else that is going on because it is affecting a strain on our relationship.

Everything was and has been off due to the holidays, and I've been stressed and an emotional wreck. So I guess that might be why I am annov this cycle, who knows. But that's pretty much it for my rant today...

My Fertility Friend Chart for this month.


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