9 Months...

9 months is how long a pregnancy lasts... in 9 months you conceive a child, and bring it into the world... it goes from a ball of cells, to a fetus, to a newborn in your arms...

9 months is also how long I've been TTC for... Actively trying. No protection. No birth control. No condoms. Nothing. BBT Charting and Temping, Cervical Mucous Charting and Tracking, and Cervical Positioning, and nothing. And to make matters worse, Aunt Flow is on with a vengeance. Oh Joy. 

I'm going to be miserable today... Try harder? Like we haven't been trying our hardest. *sigh* Maybe soon... but I feel like soon isn't enough. 

I'm bummed, because doctors won't take my MTHFR and Clotting issues seriously. I need help, and help is not what I am getting. Sadly, I think that I'm getting to the point of just giving up. If I can't get Lovonox Injections after ovulation, and during pregnancy, and I can't get my RX for Methylfolate, Methylcobalamin, and the other things my body needs, than how the hell am I going to be able to carry a baby without another loss. 

5 miscarraiges, 1 chemical, and 1 stillborn. I don't want to have to experience another loss... its unfair... it really is... I take the stupid Metformin and the Synthroid daily, and that isn't doing ANYTHING. 

Its a nasty emotional roller coaster, and Alex is doing his best trying to be supportive, but the issues are ME not HIM. His Semen Analysis came back normal... I hate my body and my genetics seriously.. and I hate arrogant, condescending doctors.... 

I pray the Lord bless us soon with our miracle...


*baby dust to all*

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