Waiting... Waiting... More Waiting...

That dreaded two week waiting period feels like forever doesn't it?

It always comes, it always goes...

This time I'm hoping it comes rather than goes.

Fertility Friend has my period set to approximately 1 week from today.

My chart has been all over the place this month, if I even ovulated...

If I ovulated, it was more than likely on CD16, but I got a positive or what I thought was one on CD21. So who knows.

This is my chart this month:

 

As you can see, all over the place.

Testing day is next Saturday if AF doesn't come...

I'm kind of hoping it doesn't come but part of me expects it to come...

We shall see I guess... my body is odd lately...

My CM is creamy, and my cervix is remaining high, so maybe, just maybe, but doubtful... especially because most people don't get preggers on their first round of clomid... 

This was my OPK on CD16...

I have to wonder if my OPK's were bad, or something, because that was about as dark as it got.

Honestly, while I consider myself  TTC, we aren't typically TTC. We're not trying, not preventing, so it does somewhat count as trying...

I scheduled my trip to Cleveland around the time I was estimated to O because I wanted to get pregnant. I want this so badly... its frustrating....

So if it happens, it happens, if it doesn't it doesn't... I feel like sometimes I don't live up to my fiancee's expectations because he is nicknamed "bullseye" for a reason by his friends and well... I'm not the perfect target if you get my drift...

So while I have anywhere between 2 days and 5 days for AF to show, I am being optimistic. I actually prayed to God this month, asking him to please bless us with a child if it was in his plan. The reason, was because after I lost Kayleigh, I remember being in a bathtub, and asking God to bless me with a child so I could never be alone... and he did... I just didn't realize that it was Gabby until I took time to sit down and think about it... so maybe this month? Who knows...