One Year Ago...

Around a year ago, I started this blog, as a way for me to journal about my journey through TTC, and fertility, and PCOS, and MTHFR and anything that affects my life in a way that is unexpected.

I titled this blog "unexpected miracles of life" because God has a way of showing these unexpected miracles at anytime.

Its hard for me some days, living in the same house as my best friend, Alex, knowing that he and I were dating and lovers at one point... its hard for me to look at our old bed, that he sleeps in, and sleep in a separate room, knowing that we used to lay together trying for a child in that very bed...

The last six months have been a way of healing for me... but they've been hard... very hard...

There are still parts of me that want to very much have that child...

September 2011, Alex and I lost our first child.

A result of my IUD dislodging, causing a miscarriage.

Exactly one year later, September 2012, I had a chemical pregnancy...

It hurts... its now June 2013... Knowing I should be holding that child in my arms any day now...

Knowing I should have had a chance to have that very life I tried so hard for...

But even though it hurts... I carry and move on...

I have hope that everything happens for a reason...

I pray that someday soon, I am given the chance to be a mother again, to another living child on earth...

I believe God has things occur for a reason, and even though we don't know that reason all the time, things occur so we can heal...

A year ago, I started this blog, and this journey to tell the world and have the world follow my life, and the events that unfold... and a year ago, I would have never thought life would have ended the way it did for me... that life would have taken me on this journey...

I have my ultrasound today, at 10:45am, on June 3rd 2013...

Last year, on June 3rd, I was sitting in my Endocrinologist office, going over lab results, and having that very same ultrasound ordered...

Its CRAZY to think that in an entire year so much has happened... so much has occured... and so much has changed...

I look forward to the next year of blogging my adventures in this very unexpected thing called life, and hope its filled with many miracles...

Gabriella-Marie

Born: June 25th 2009

My First Child (Who did not result in miscarriage or stillbirth) She has 22Q Deletion Syndrome (DiGeorges) She was born with an underdeveloped left ventricle that was fixed in utero. She also has a Heart murmur, Atrial Septal Defect and PFO (which resolved in 12/5/2018). She also has Aspergers Syndrome (High Functioning Autism, Level 1 Autism ect.), Sensory Processing Disorder, DMDD, ODD, ADHD-Combined and several other behavioral and physical health issues. She is my CHD and 22Q Warrior. She is my world, my life, my meaning for existence. She has my attitude, combined with her fathers stubbornness. She certainly shows us that she will accomplish anything and everything.