Why Don't YOU just Adopt? (*Day #2 *)

This caption says it all. It really, just hurts. Why can't my body do what it was meant to do and designed to do/? Why does everyone else make it so easy to get pregnant? Why do I feel totally and completely alone in my struggle to try for a child? Why does it hurt to see other people happy, starting there family, and how come I am the one that has to sit here and have my life at a stand still while others get married, have kids, and move on? These are some of the questions I have been asking myself as of late.

This week is infertility awareness week. Its that constant reminder of the struggle of wanting to get something that takes so long to get. Often times, when I bring up the fact that I suffer with infertility, and all of my genetic issues (MTHFR and My Several Other Mutations) others will say something along the lines of "Why don't you just adopt" and I feel like hitting them over the head. 

Picture this:
 Dishing out 30+K for a child you may never have
Waiting years for the adoption to be finalized and then having the birth mother change her mind
Heartbreak and grieving for a child you can never have.

Doesn't sound so enticing does it?

If you know someone struggling with infertility, don't ask "well why don't you just adopt?" This is why there is not "just adopt". 

Unless you have 30K+ you want to loan them and someone that just happens to have a baby they are placing. 

This is only part of why adoption would be so hard. There is the money as well as the fact that it can still take years of waiting and wondering if its ever going to happen. The heartache of hoping you are picked and the possibility of the birth mother backing out of it. You also have to go through a grieving process for your own children that you may never get. 

There is no "just adopt". And an infertile couple have no more chance of conceiving while going through adoption as they did before. Statistically it makes no difference and does not increase the chance of conception at all. Yes it happens, but statistically it does not increase the chances.

So next time you come across someone who says they are not able to have children, think twice before you tell them to just "adopt" because chances are, if their like me, it will upset them more than it will make them happy or help them.


Post a Comment