SMBC (Single Mother By Choice)

So, I’ve been researching my options for having my final child, to complete my family. I know that I do not want to have children after the age of 35, because I am already super high risk, and after 35, you become a “geriatric” pregnancy, and become high risk, so I’d be super duper high risk.

So, I’ve been doing some research, because I feel my time clock is ticking.

I came across an article, for a woman who coincidentally used Nicole DeHoff, and she was a single mother by choice, and I messaged her on Facebook to find information out about the process. (https://www.lovewhatmatters.com/i-had-failed-at-having-that-family-single-mother-by-choice-recounts-her-ivf-journey-to-get-her-miracle-daughter-on-her-own/ ) and I was blown away.

Single Mom By Choice? That is a thing? Wow.

I mean, I knew that sperm donors were a thing too, but I didn’t think people actually planned their families alone, but I suppose that makes sense.

I thought about it, and I wrote all my pros and cons down.

I have been a single mom for years on my own and don't desire a custody battle child support or court stuff or any of that nonsense.

I simply want to complete my family. I can feel my time clock ticking and don't want to be pregnant past 35 because I am already high risk and that would put me at super high risk.

I had so many questions. How do I even get started? Can you inseminate at home? Do you need IUI. ICSI. Or IVF. Do I need to do a consult with a fertility center or doctor? Or can this be done naturally by just choosing a donor online, shipping to home and be done with it? What are my options.

So, I looked around, and found a Facebook Group called Single Mothers By Choice, and quickly found there are several other woman like me.

I knew this was what I wanted to do. Whether or not I met the man of my dreams, but I suppose that would make dating hard. I just wanted to complete my family.

I knew I had some known obstacles to face.

I have PCOS. Which means I don't ovulate, and I don't respond to clomid or Femara. My son required gonal-f. But that was as far as my OBGYN was comfortable going
(my son is 16mos old and was conceived after a five-year infertility battle and giving up. I also have a nine-year-old but am looking to complete our family)

I also have endometriosis, adenomyosis and auto immune issues (Hashimotos Thyroid. Lupus. Addisons. Raynauds) and I have clotting issues/bleeding issues (carrier for hemophilia B and have factor V Leiden heterozygous and MTHFR a1298c heterozygous) I've had 11 losses total (a stillborn at 20 weeks who had HLHS and was the result of clots in the cord. 8 first trimester losses at 7-10 weeks. 2 second trimester losses at 14 weeks needing D&Cs)

I know I will require:
-Progesterone in Oil Injections
-Lovonox Injections
-Makena Injections
-Insulin (both my pregnancies needed this even though I only take Metformin and my A1C is 5.4 so normal)
-Gonal F (required to stim to release the eggs so I can ovulate. Typically used with Femara)
-Neupogen (improves egg quality and tissue qualify with my uterine lining typically is 0.20 mL daily from CD1 (day I started estrogen) until 12 weeks. This is because of my auto immune issues)

I should say I know what I am up against. I've had this battle with both my kids. I know the risks. I know what I'm up against. I understand finding a center to take me on may be difficult.

But the next step is finding a center that will help me out.