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October is, and always
will be a very emotional month for us. It is the month that we remember our
children who were lost. It is the month we break the silence and let people
know it is okay to talk about miscarriages, stillbirths, child losses. It is
the month we too share with CarlyMarie in our journey in grieving our child(ren)
like so many others...This October, I will be remembering MY babies. OUR babies. OUR precious children, who are no longer with us. This October, I Grieve, and I remember...
If you know me
personally, you also know that the most recent loss hit me hard, being that it
was with my fiancee, and could have easily been prevented with progesterone and
lovonox, which the doctors refused to provide me with.
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I would be just over 13 weeks
pregnant, and entering second trimester right now. But I'm not, and it hurts.
And it is something that I still struggle to come to terms with and deal with
each day. Most people find the topic of pregnancy and infant loss a hard one to talk about. Lord knows, I struggle talking about it because of my emotions, but I want to take the time to say to anyone struggling with this, that it is okay to talk about how you feel, and to miss your babie(s) and you can find some amazing support groups that will help you through. And believe me, I understand... I get it. Because I've been there...
I also want to just take the time to please be kind and thoughtful to those that have lost their babies whether that loss was tangible to you or not. Any loss is a tangible loss to a mother who has lost their child as a result of miscarriage, pregnancy, still-birth, infant loss, and childhood loss.
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I'm not here to tell you it is an
easy thing to get through... The reality is that you will grieve forever. Death
never gets easier. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a family member, a child
or a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will
rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered.
You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the
same nor would you want to. Two years doesn't mean it gets easier, almost like
5 years doesn't make it easier. It doesn't matter if it occurred a lifetime
ago, or yesterday, what matters is it hurt, it hurts, and still does hurt. It
will always hurt, and its not something one can just forget about.
You don’t get over it, you just get through it. Your don’t get by it, because
you can’t get around it. It doesn't ‘get better,’ It just gets different.
Everyday grief puts on a new face
My point is... It hurts, and it always will... and its an open wound still healing... but you have to allow yourself to grieve... cry... hurt... feel...
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Each year, approximately
a million pregnancies in the U.S. end in miscarriage, stillbirth or the death
of a newborn child. But this is not just a statistic. This is a life and a
death.
It my belief that life
begins at conception—that is, the fertilization of the ovum by the sperm. God
knows the name and age of each person from their mother’s womb.
We must therefore
recognize that pregnancy loss—miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy or stillbirth—all
result in the death of a human being, a baby, a Child of God. Parents who were
anticipating life are now confronted with death. These deaths result in
millions of parents and families grieving.
In 1988, President
Ronald Reagan proclaimed October as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month
throughout the United States noting that, “National Observance of Pregnancy and
Infant Loss Awareness Month offers us the opportunity to increase our
understanding of the great tragedy involved in the deaths of unborn and newborn
babies. It also enables us to consider how, as individuals and communities, we
can meet the needs of bereaved parents and family members on work to prevent
causes of these problems….”
Subsequently, the
resolution to declare October 15 Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day
passed the United States House of Representatives on September 28, 2006.
In honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss
Remembrance Day, it is suggested by many bereavement groups that grieving
parents light a candle at 7 p.m. in their respective time zones to create a
wave of light around the world in memory of babies lost to pregnancy and infant
loss.
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Born: June 25th 2009
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