Avery Matthew....

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To Our Surprise, I ended up falling pregnant. 
We didn't expect it to happen that quickly after my surgery for Endometriosis...
We weren't even really trying...

We found out about you on 10/19/2015.
You were a big surprise to us. But we were happy.
We lost you at 7 weeks on 11/5/2015.

There was no heartbeat. No fetal poles. There was nothing.
Bleeding was the reason I went into the OB.
We didn't expect that news from Dr. Kalan.

On 11/8/2015, the hardest part (which is always the hardest part of losing the baby in my opinion) happened. I passed the sac. It was a bubble like feeling, and probably the weirdest sensation. I was just happy I didn't need a D&C. 

It was that day, we decided to name you Avery Matthew. We felt that you were a boy.
It was probably one of the hardest things we've gone through as a young couple.
We felt alone, isolated, depressed.
But you WERE and ARE loved and missed.

So ... I wrote this poem in your honor...

Dedicated To My Son...
Avery Matthew Blau...

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So quickly you came into our lives,
So quickly torn away. 
Never got the chance to meet you,
There's so much I want to say.
Where there once was joy and happiness,
Is now sadness, guilt, and pain.
All these thoughts running through my head,
It's enough to drive me insane.
Though you lived only seven short weeks,
You were loved so very much. 
I wish that I could hold you,
I long to feel your touch.
On that night of November 5th
My world was ripped from under my feet.
I pray that in another life,
We get the chance to meet.
We love you so very much son.
Rest Easy...


(Some of you have asked how Matt is handling things; To be honest, I don't really know, because it is his first child... he seems to isolate himself, be alone and depressed, so I'm not too sure what will happen. Time will tell...)

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