Another Update...

Today has been a fairly decent day. Drew and I didn’t really talk until around 2pm. He said to me that he appreciates me giving him space. Score! My therapist was right on that one, that if I give him space, he will come to me. I think this is good. So he is happy with me giving him space. He says he has been thinking about me today too, which is another good thing. He said he would like to come see me tonight, and we can have a Dr. Who Marathon, which sounds very nice. Haha, were both such nerds. I blame my friend Sherry, and my friend Mike for even getting me into Dr. Who, but it was really Drew who got me into it, and had me watch a few episodes, and now all that pops into my head is “Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey Stuff” I’m being turned into a Whovian. 

He also promised me lots of sex, haha. Which will be interesting for both of us. I am curious if he will follow through. He usually comes over my house and is VERY relaxed when he is with me, which makes me a bit frustrated because well, he says the reason we broke up is because of the stress I put on him, and in my experience, stress cannot make someone relaxed, so who knows anymore. I certainly don’t. I will be five weeks tomorrow, and I am excited about that. That means a few more weeks until I get an ultrasound. 

I told Drew I was feeling nervous about that though. I explained to him that woman who experience several losses and miscarriages often have pregnancy PTSD in where they fear every moment about losing that baby. That is pretty much what I go through, but I am guarding my heart, and trying to remain optimistic.  

 I really feel like this baby is a boy. I really feel the baby is going to be a Dominic Andrew, and they usually say mother’s intuition is right. I feel like its almost reverse psychology. Expect something to go wrong, so it does not. Drew says he is also trying to keep his guard up too, because he knows there is a chance the baby won’t be born alive and healthy, and there is a chance that it will, but that only time will tell, and he just doesn’t want to get too attached. 

I understand where he is coming from, and feel like sometimes telling him to just accept that he will be a dad, but I know the hurt that one goes through all too well with grieving a baby that once was, and so I can see and understand where he is coming from. I played outside with Gabby on her bike today, as it was in the 50’s. 

Ohio weather is so very odd. It was just -40 a few days ago, and now it’s in the 50’s. No wonder people get sick. Drew said he will be coming over at around midnight, so it should be interesting. So right now, I am going to clean my house and pretty much game with my friends until he gets here. Gabby is in bed, and I have nothing to do. So there is my update for today. Come on baby, Stick! Mommy loves you so much!